HotnSpicy Strawberry Cheesecake
by jaygoose
Summary: Nick was slightly disturbed to see the piranha gleam in Catherine's eyes turn on him instead of your randomly placed lab flunky. But nonetheless...


_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own the characters, this guy named Jerry apparently does. Miss Ish, unfortunately, belongs to me.

_**Warnings: **_Crack!fic. Mpreg. Spoofiness. Run. Now. While you still can.

**_Betas: _**Cskerries and Weiila.

**_A/N:_** I'm a horrible person and I don't deserve to live. (laughs) But seriously, everything about this is wrong but hopefully it's funny enough to make up for it. I just could not resist getting David Hodges pregnant. C'mon! You know you want to read this. Though, I'm disturbed that I seem to have written this as a Nick/Hodges fic and not a Greg/Hodges fic. I blame Caster. Yep, all her fault.

**_Hot-n-Spicy Strawberry Cheesecake_**

It had been a calm, quiet night in the morgue--as most nights in the morgue were. David Phillips hummed to himself as he washed the body in front of him. Sara had been by earlier and that was always nice and it even seemed as though he might get to leave earlier than usual. Of course, that was perfectly alright with him too. 

Yep. Everything was calm and peaceful. No surprises tonight. Nope. Not a one. Though, this only lasted until David Hodges--y'know that rude guy from the trace lab--barged through the door looking like he had a mountain lion in his heels. When the older man caught sight of him he immediately straightened up, however.

"Phillips." He said offering a tight nod.

"Hodges." David P. said just as stiffly as he raised a brow.

"Doc around?" The other David asked glancing around the corner.

The lab tech almost looked anxious about something.

"No. He's gone for the night." D.P. replied. "I'm just finishing up here and then I'll be heading out too."

"Oh." David nodded and crossed his arms over his chest, rocking slightly on his heels. "Well. Fine then."

And with another curt nod Hodges was gone.

"Well… that was strange." David Phillips sighed and went back to his work.

_

* * *

/8 weeks, 2 days/_

* * *

"Nicky!" 

"C'mon Cath. It'll just take a minute. Promise."

"Okay. Okay, fine! What's going on?"

Catherine Willows had just been on her way out. It was the end of shift and she wanted nothing more that to go home, kiss her daughter good morning and crash. But the expression on Nick Stokes' face was enough to tell Catherine that what ever he'd practically dragged her across the hall for was important…

"Okay…Well…"

…and juicy if the blush the man was sporting was any indication. Catherine raised an elegant brow in question.

"Catherine." The sigh was rather dramatic. "Don't look at me like that, alright? This is embarrassing enough without you giving me the Griss brow."

"Sorry, force of habit." She hadn't been able to help the grin though. "Now come on, spill!"

Nick was slightly disturbed to see the piranha gleam in Catherine's eyes turn on _him_ instead of your randomly-placed lab flunky. But nonetheless, he took a deep breath and glanced around the empty conference room before he turned back to her and looked her straight in the eye. "How did you know you were…" He frowned suddenly as if he didn't want to say the word. "Expecting…y'know, with Lindsey?"

Blue eyes widened of their own accord and Nick groaned.

"Cath."

"Wow… wait, I'm just surprised. I mean you do have sisters right? I'm just a little… I don't know…" She really hadn't meant to laugh. She quickly adopted a more serious expression to cover it up. "Nick, have you potentially knocked someone up?"

"I'm the one asking the questions here, alright. Can we not go there just yet? Please?" He really looked stressed about the whole thing. "Just… how did you know?"

"Well," she began, trying to take the situation seriously. "There are these things called pregnancy tests, Nick." She narrowed her eyes at the other CSI. "Your parents really didn't explain this to you?"

"Yes, of course… God. We've already…" Nick groaned, drawing a hand over his face.

"Look, Nicky..." She really shouldn't have had to have this conversation with a grown man. It was just wrong. "If you're not happy with the situation maybe you and your lady friend should've…"

"Ha! Lady friend…" Nick barked out a breathless laugh before Catherine could finish. "Oh if only it were that simple."

Nick forced the frown off his face, but his expression was still all business. "We've done the pregnancy test thing already."

"And?"

"And it was positive."

"Well there you have it."

"Cath, look, it's impossible!" Nicky seemed to be pretty adamant about this fact.

"Well it would seem that it actually _is_ possible, Nick." Cath said firmly. Although, she couldn't believe Nick was behaving like this. She'd always taken him for a stand-up kind of guy. The type that would accept a child even if it wasn't his own just to keep the mother happy, but this… "Look, I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear Nick but…"

"No you don't understand. There's no way that…" Nick sighed in defeat and collapsed in the nearest chair. "This isn't happening," he half muttered to himself.

Okay, she was worried now. She took the seat closest to her colleague. "Nicky… c'mon. Really this is not the end of the world. Don't you want kids?" When she didn't get a response she trudged on. "Look, if you don't believe the test go to a doctor for Christ's sake!"

"He'll never go to a doctor." Nick moaned.

"Then…"

Time frozen for just a few moments then and for once Catherine Willows was speechless. "Wait… What! Did you just say _he_?"

"…"

"Nicky! My god… are you?" Catherine could barely contain herself. "What _did_ your parents tell you exactly!"

"I'm being serious here, Catherine!"

The look on Nick's face was almost enough to convince her. Well, if the mere idea of a male being pregnant weren't absolutely ridiculous it would have. She hadn't even had the time to process the fact that Nick Stokes was apparently engaging in sex with said male.

"Nicky, sweetheart… men don't get pregnant."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you." He hissed.

Catherine was at a complete loss. She opened her mouth, closing it again when words continued to fail her.

"Look, I know guys don't get pregnant. But apparently this guy's body doesn't know that. I just… I don't know. But he's sick all the time and he's been having these… mood swings… so as a joke I brought home a pregnancy test and he took it just to spite me and it came back positive and I just… I don't know what the hell is going on!"

"You're being serious?"

"Yes! God… look, just forget I said anything, okay." He stood up heading for the door.

"Nicky, wait…wait!" She was going to tell him that maybe there had been some mistake. Maybe whatever had this mystery guy of Nick's so sick could have made the results of the test funky. Maybe she should even suggest that they should take another one to be sure… she couldn't believe she was even considering humoring him on this. It was just impossible.

The dark haired man turned around with an exasperated sigh. "Look, its fine if you don't believe me. I don't believe me. It's cool. We'll figure this out. Just… keep this between us okay?"

Catherine was completely dumbfounded. "Uh… alright."

"Thanks."

She watched as Nick walked out the door.

"Good luck."

_

* * *

/8 weeks, 6 days/

* * *

_

"Positive."

He picked up another. "Positive."

Nicky sighed. "David…"

There was a snicker to the left of him, barely contained chuckles.

"Positive."

The other man finally exploded into undignified hysterical laughter.

"David!" Nick groaned.

_

* * *

/10 weeks, 6 days/

* * *

_

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me."

"Otay… why are you in here agan?"

"How is it possible that I'm the last person in the lab to know!"

David removed the bloody tissue from his nose before speaking this time. "Seriously, Jacqui, this is the _Men's_ room."

"You think I don't know that!" She said narrowing her eyes at him. "I don't care about that right now."

"I think Dawson over there might mind." David said motioning to the blond over at the urinals.

Bobby Dawson looked over his shoulder at the two of them before waving and smiling at Jacqui. "Hey Jacqui, I've been trying to catch up with you all day. Funny meeting you in here, though…" he raised a brow. "…actually."

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Well I think I found a print on that gun Sara brought in…"

"Can you two not do that here!"

Bobby and Jacqui stopped to stare at David.

"Do what?" The ballistics tech asked innocently, still taking care of his business.

"Look, Bobby, the _woman _here might not know any better, but this is the Men's room." David began, "You know there's no talking in the Men's room. And especially no eye contact."

Bobby rolled his eyes at the man before zipping up.

"Says the pregnant man," Jacqui scoffed. "That's rich!"

David glared at the woman before turning back to the mirror to tend to his bloody nose.

Bobby walked over to the sinks and washed his hands.

"Has it stopped yet?" Jacqui asked. She sighed rolling her eyes and offered up some clean tissue.

"My sister used to get nose bleeds all the time when she was pregnant. Never knew why. Just figured it was a pregnant thing." Bobby said trying to be helpful.

"A _pregnant_ thing?" David asked raising a brow.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"Well, hell Jacq," David said wide eyed. "What did you think happened? I swallowed a basketball or something?"

Bobby un-expectantly burst into a fit of guffaws. "Well David it's possible that swallowing…"

David paused to give the man a warning glare.

Jacqui snorted. "I thought you'd just let yourself go. I mean c'mon. It's not like you're a woman or anything. Pregnancy was the last thing I was thinking." She laughed.

"I was just surprised you were actually getting any." Bobby offered with a grin.

David gasped in outrage, violently tossing his soiled tissue in the trash. "I don't have to stand here and take this abuse!" He said leaving the restroom. "I have work to do!"

"Don't be like that, David!" Jacqui called after him barely keeping her laughter in check. "It's not good for the baby! At least let me cop a feel!"

Bobby, of course, failed to keep his chortles under control.

_

* * *

/15 weeks, 1 day/

* * *

_

The staring was getting just the littlest bit uncomfortable… for both of them.

"C'mon, Ish…" Nick sighed.

"I'm sorry," the young woman said, her dark eyes shiny with mirth. She turned back the equipment she was fiddling with. "Sorry. I just know how much David hates it. I'll have everything set up in a second, alright."

"Thank god." David grumbled.

Nick couldn't blame David for being antsy. David was always antsy. His current… _condition_ hadn't helped much with this ailment. He couldn't even blame Ish for staring. She was about to give her first sonogram. And it didn't help matters that she would be giving her first sonogram to a man. A pregnant man.

"You know my professor is gonna have my ass if he finds out about this."

"Think of it as extra credit," Nick offered. "He can't fault you for that."

"Why me, anyway? I'm kicking Terrance's ass." She muttered. "I'm not even a doctor."

"Close enough, woman. Now can we get this over with sometime before this kid goes off to college?" David moaned.

The UNLV pre-medical laboratory probably wasn't the ideal place to take David for his prenatal check ups but Ish was a cool girl. She amazingly took the whole situation in stride. And she at least seemed to have an idea of what the hell she was doing.

"You do realize that when you go into labor you're going to have to go to an _actual _medical facility." Ish informed. "Y'know… with real doctors. Just an idea. If living is important to you and all."

"Yeah, yeah." Nick said. "We got ya."

"Good. I'm not cutting on anyone without a license. I'm too pretty to go to jail."

"Yada yada yada. Show. On the road." David said motioning to his exposed stomach.

"Was he like this before you knocked him up?" Ish frowned. "Cause god, how could you even stand him long enough to…"

"Hey!"

"Alright, alright Mr. Stokes." She cackled. "Down to business."

It took a minute but Ish finally figured out was she was looking at enough to inform the two men.

"Ah, there we go. Congratulations. You're pregnant."

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!"

Nick, who had been previously in awe of the image on the monitor, turned to the other man in shock.

"What did you think it was, David?"

"I was still holding out for a tumor."

"How touching." Ish deadpanned.

_

* * *

/22 weeks, 4 days/

* * *

_

About halfway into the shift and Greg found himself in the trace lab helping with the back log. Thus was the life of the only CSI level one on the team. When the nights were slow he often found himself back in the lab running his team mates' evidence. Tonight he didn't mind so much, actually. Besides he could never pass up a chance to tease Hodges.

The fact that the trace technician was waddling around the lab only made the situation all the more appealing. Greg could barely keep his snickering under control. It was just so surreal. Seriously, Hodges couldn't really blame him right? The glare the man turned to give him said otherwise.

"What are you laughing at?"

The blond sobered up but he couldn't hide his grin. "You."

"Fuck off, Sanders." Hodges growled. "I've gotten enough wise cracks from everyone else the last few weeks to last me a lifetime. Don't you start too; I'm too tired to put up with you right now."

The grin was immediately wiped off at the sound of David's tone. The last bit had sounded so…worn. Now that he was thinking about it, Greg had noticed that the trace tech had been looking a little more run down than usual.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." He was genuinely concerned now. Though, the two of them had never come out and admitted it, they were friends now. And Greg would never intentionally do anything to hurt David, especially not now when he was in such a vulnerable state. He'd just been joking after all. He had hoped to make David feel like everything was normal despite the abnormal circumstances. "Um… I mean… you have been seeing a doctor right?"

Hodges sighed and continued staring down his microscope. "As if Stokes would let me i not /i see one," he said with a sneer.

Greg smiled at that. It's good that Nicky was looking out for his overly stubborn friend. But he'd expect no less from Nick of course. "Hey Dave…"

Before Greg could finish his thought, David shocked him by stopping cold. His blue eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and Greg immediately rushed over to the other man.

"Whoa! Hey, hey… you alright Dave!"

The look on David's face was indescribable. "Uh… yeah… sure. I… I'm… fine."

Greg couldn't help but be little skeptical after all that, the look on David's face had yet to fade. "What... was that?"

"It… just moved." He muttered staring down at his stomach.

Greg's eyes brightened immediately putting two and two together. "Yeah? Seriously!" His hands were on Hodges' stomach before he thought twice about it. "I wanna feel!"

"Sand…" The indignant snarl died in Hodges' throat when he felt the little bundle of joy move again, Greg's mouth to dropped open in shock.

"Oh… oh… wow." Greg started, grinning madly. "There really is something in there!"

"No, Greg. It was all just a clever ruse. I actually just swallowed a watermelon seed." Hodges said rolling his eyes.

Greg was still smiling like a mad man, until he suddenly realized his hand was still on Hodges' belly and quickly removed it. "I mean… whoa! This is soooo cool! I'm really gonna be an uncle!"

"Yeah. Cool," David deadpanned before turning back to his work. "And who said you were going to be an uncle?"

Greg completely ignored David's statement, grinning anyway. Even if David could refuse him Nick couldn't. His face suddenly turned serious as another thought hit him.

Hodges had to have eyes in the back of his head. "What?"

"I mean I know this whole thing is breaking all the laws of nature and science… and… everything but… there has still gotta be…" He sighed. "I mean…" He tried again motioning toward Hodges' protruding belly. "Where… exactly… is it? Y'know… in there."

Turning around, Hodges smirked at him humorlessly. "Oh, that's the fun part." His smirk grew to a tight grin. "It would seem that for yet another unexplained reason I've grown a uterus."

Greg just stared, though none of this should have really shocked him at this point.

"Same thing I said." Hodges finally said, turning back to his work. "Do yourself a favor Sanders, don't ever have hot, kinky sex with Nick Stokes. No… wait. Please do, so that you may share my pain."

Greg stared a little while longer before grinning evilly.

Hodges' eyes were still focused on the task at hand; he didn't even turn to acknowledge Greg's expression. "I can feel you grinning behind me Greg. I'm serious. I'll set Nick and his super sperm upon you. You'll rue the day."

"Yes, I'm sure there'll be plenty of ruing on my part." Greg chuckled. "It's just…Are you lactating Hodges?"

David nearly dropped the evidence he was processing.

"Get out of my lab!"

_

* * *

/26 weeks, 2 days/

* * *

_

The ride back from the crime scene was surprisingly uncomfortable. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that Warrick was staring at him…grinning. Nicky frowned.

"Cut it out man."

"I can't help it."

"Seriously, cut it out."

"C'mon man." Warrick grinned wider. "You actually expected me _not_ to tease the hell out of you about this?"

"Well, yeah." Nick sneered. "Besides, grown men don't tease."

Warrick just continued staring and grinning. All that was missing now was a monocle and the sharp teeth.

"Rick!"

"You… got Hodges…pregnant." Warrick was barely containing his amusement at this point.

"Shut up!"

"I always knew there was something strange about that guy, but man!"

"That's it! You're walking."

Warrick cackled. "You're even having sympathy mood swings!"

_

* * *

/30 weeks, 3 days/

* * *

_

Seven months along and the cravings had finally kicked in. Of course the morning sickness had only just worn off. He'd been informed by various members of the opposite sex that this wasn't completely normal. But Hodges was just so happy he was able to eat anything at all without it making a surprise reappearance that he didn't quite care what the hell it actually was. He was on his lunch break sitting with Greg and enjoying a few hot wings dipped in a strawberry cheesecake. Greg, being new to this whole pregnancy thing, was appalled at Hodges' happy munching. David, of course, noticed this development.

"What?"

"Um... that's gross."

"Shut up!" The trace tech tried his best to make it seem like he didn't care, but Greg couldn't help but notice that the man's munching had become less than enthusiastic.

"Geez, someone's testy today," Greg muttered. "Thank god I didn't knock you up."

Hodges looked up in utter outrage. "I thought we'd agreed to never speak of that time again, Greg."

"Aww… c'mon, Dave." Greg turned to give him a lecherous grin, waggling eyebrows and all. "You know that one night with Greggo and you're never the same. I'm surprised you're able to keep from driving over to my house in the middle of the day and begging for some of that…"

"What's up Greg? Hodges?" Warrick greeted, pausing as he made a beeline for the fridge to notice the tech's lunch. "What the hell are you eating?

"Can't a pregnant man enjoy a little cheesecake and hot wings without all the drama?"

Greg smiled, "Sure, if it wasn't completely disgusting and completely abnormal."

"Look, I can't help it." The expecting male said as he pointed to his swollen tummy. "It's this thing. It wants what it wants. I gave up fighting it months ago."

Warrick plopped down at the table with his lunch. "Thing?" He asked with a grin of his own.

Hodges just stared at him like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Yeah, thing. You aren't really under the impression that this is a _human_ child are you?"

Warrick snorted before bursting into brief bout of laughter. "As strange as this whole thing is. Yes. I had considered that _child_ growing inside you to be human. I mean it is Nick's. Right?"

Hodges glared in the man's direction as he dropped a bare chicken bone back on his plate. "And after all…" He began as he once again motioned to his protruding belly, "…_this_, you still think that Stokes is human?"

Greg chuckled before he but in, "Hey man. You're the one with the uterus. You're looking like the suspicious one here."

"I didn't have a uterus before!" Hodges clarified.

"How do you know?" Warrick snickered. "Does your doctor make it a habit to check for a uterus? That would have to mean they expected you to be some kind of freak of nature or something."

Greg suddenly adopted a professional tone. "Ah Mr. Hodges, good news: the tests show you're all clear when it comes to STDs and such but it would seem that you have randomly grown a uterus. Now don't you fret we've been preparing for this day for quite some time now and I'm sure that you'll be able to manage it. Let's just get you set up here with a prescription for birth control and have you on your way."

Warrick nearly fell out of his chair laughing, prompting Hodges to send a murderous glare in both their directions. "You're enjoying this entirely too much Sanders. I'd be careful about the coffee I drink from now on if I were you." Sadly, Greg didn't seem at all phased, as usual. "Anyway, I'm telling you. It's Stokes' fault I have a uterus! He's an alien or something."

Greg nearly choked on his soda laughing and Warrick hung his head and grinned. "I can't believe we're even having this conversation."

Hodges just calmly began to suck and lick each finger clean. Greg was just about to add a few more comments but Nick's unexpected entrance threw him off. The suspicious quiet made the Texan wary.

"O. K. What did I miss?"

Hodges just looked at the man and went back to innocently licking his fingers clean.

"Oh nothing," Greg smiled, "Just Hodges here telling me and Warrick about how you chose him to be the vehicle in which you are to perpetuate your alien species.

"Yeah." Warrick smirked. "You Martians must be hard up for tail, man."

"Oh god, David. Not the alien theory again." Nick shook his head but his grin gave away his amusement.

"Well why not?" Hodges said calmly. "It's true isn't it?" He looked up at Nick from between narrowed lids. "And besides, Brown," he said, turning to the other man, "It's not like you can blame Nick and his race for choosing me after all."

Greg snorted at that, "Yeah sure. Who wouldn't bet the continuance of their very gene pool on a bitter, middle aged gay man? I mean c'mon. The logic in that is _flawless_."

Warrick howled with laughter.

Hodges gave Greg yet another death glare. "When this thing is born I'm siccing it on you first, Fun-boy."

Nick sighed and took a seat next to David. "Alright guys, enough of this. I'm not an alien…"

"It's okay if you are, Nicky." Greg took on a solemn expression. "We're your friends. We'd love you no matter what."

"Greg!" Nick laughed. "The baby can hear you," the dark haired man said as he reached over to rub Hodges' tummy and completely ignored the other man's fierce look.

It was brief however, being that David was unable to resist the chance to correct anyone. "Actually that's not true…"

"Reading up, are we?"

The four men were startled out of their conversation by the entrance of Gil Grissom. The man had apparently been listening in on their conversation for while now if the grin was any indication. But he didn't comment directly on it.

"That's very responsible of you Hodges. Nick, you should probably be reading up too."

"Wait a minute; did you just compliment David, Griss?" Greg said grinning insanely.

Gil paused a minute seemingly thinking it over. "Well… I guess I did." He finally said.

David's reaction was completely unexpected. It began as a barely audible sniffle. And before anyone knew it the man was up on his feet and fleeing the room faster than any man carrying that many extra pounds should with a half sobbed excuse.

The four remaining men stared at each other dumbly.

"Whoa," Greg said simply, having finally found the words the others couldn't.

"Those hormones are a bitch, huh, Nicky?" Warrick snickered. "Oh yeah," he added and reached over to pat his friend on the back. "Congratulations, man."

Gil chuckled.

_

* * *

/34 weeks, 4 days/

* * *

_

He was in his eight month when he had picked up the odd habit of walking around the house completely naked. It had been a bit of a shock, but at this point David Hodges didn't really give a damn about what shocked Nick Stokes or not.

On a good day David could be convinced to at least where a pair of pajama bottoms. Luckily for Nick it happened to be one of the good days. David was currently toddling around the house eating a bowl of Spaghetti-Os (to his unending shame) and crushed Oreo cookies (to Nick's unending disgust). His wandering had led him to the bedroom and passed Nick's open closet—an open closet that contained a full length mirror on its door.

What kind of self respecting man had a full length mirror in his closet anyway? It only reminded David of how much of a whale he'd become. The male tilted his head to the side, taking in the image of himself bare foot and pregnant. He nearly laughed out loud.

Even after eight months, it was still just completely ridiculous.

He turned to the side to get a better view. And that's when he noticed that he had an audience.

"Aww don't frown like that," Nick said, grinning. "I think you're adorable."

The spoon stopped half way to David's mouth, the man's jaw dropping at any suggestion that he, a grown—albeit pregnant—man could be anything pertaining to adorable.

"Are you high?" David said dropping the spoon carelessly into his bowl. "I'm a land mass. If you look outside you'll see a group of people carrying flags in hopes of claiming me in the name of their respective nations."

Nick just grinned and suddenly there were a pair of warm hands on David's ridiculously large belly and a stubbly chin on his sholder.

"You don't have to worry about them," Nick murmured.

"You're not going say something sappy about how you've already claimed me are you?"

"See, look at that. You're reading my mind. That's proof that we're meant to be together."

David just rolled his eyes and took another bite of his dinner.

"That's really disgusting Dave."

"Tell that to your spawn."

_

* * *

/36 weeks, 6 days/

* * *

_

"So. What's it like?"

Honestly, David Hodges really had no clue why Sara Sidle was in his living room. Sitting on his couch, watching him sitting in Nicky's recliner watching Jeopardy or whatever the hell was actually on television. He vaguely remembered her saying something about a belated baby shower gift (as if he had actually let Jacqui go through with such a ridiculous thing) when he'd opened the door for her.

David just turned to the woman and raised a brow. Sara, being the intelligent woman that she was, took this as proof that she should elaborate.

"Y'know," she said, motioning to his midsection (Why they all did that when referring to the apparent human child in his newly grown uterus he did not know. As if he wasn't aware that he was pregnant.), "Being…with child?"

"Eh," David replied. "Apparently you get fat, eat weird food concoctions that would normally turn your stomach, the smell of eggs makes you nauseous and you get gifts that people claim are for you but are a few sizes too small."

"Ah."

David turned off the television and looked to her with a bored expression. "Wanna buy me food?"

Sara smiled. "Sure."

_

* * *

/38 weeks, 4 days/

* * *

_

"David!"

He'd never seen Greg's eyes so big. "You're…like… crushing my arm."

David just stared. He was gritting his teeth and doing his damnedest to keep some dignity in this completely undignified situation and all Greg could complain about was his arm. The man didn't know true pain. True pain was having some alien life form (he didn't care what Nick said, there was no way he wasn't an extraterrestrial) try to claw it's way out of your abdomen.

"Ow…ow…owww. David please!"

"Fine, girly-man." Hodges bit out releasing Greg's arm. "Where the hell is Nick!"

"Yes, let's find Nicky," Greg said finally getting David in the car and closing the door. The younger man shot around to the other side and jumped in. "He's the one you should you be directing you labor-induced rage at, anyway."

_

* * *

/38 weeks, 4 days, 1 minute, 13 seconds/

* * *

_

"Stokes."

_"Nicky!"_

"Greg? Hey! What's up…"

_"Look ya gotta…"_

There was then the sound of the phone on the other end being snatched away and then the barely audible declaration of someone that was either extremely pissed or in a great amount of pain or both.

"Wha…who? David? I'm sorry honey, I can't…"

_"I said I'm going kill you then cut off your…"_

"Oh, yeah okay! I'll… I'll be right there, okay! You're on you're way to the… David… calm… honey the baby can hear you. Yeah, okay babe… I'll even bring you the knife… I am not patronizing you. Just… Don't… um… just wait for me, okay!" Nicky was halfway out of the lab door before he thought to shout back to Catherine. "Oh… oh Cath I gotta…" he paused to point to the phone. "David, he's…"

"Nicky. Go. Please."

"Thanks!"

Catherine at least had the decency to wait until Nicky was out of ear shot to collapse into a fit of giggles.

_

* * *

/38 weeks, 5 days, 4 hours, 26 minutes, 9 seconds/

* * *

_

"Oh. It's you."

David looked up from the little bundle snug in his arms only to find Greg Sanders standing at the door grinning.

"Hey there. So, I hear I'm the proud uncle of one of, in the words of Bobby Dawson, the most gorgeous little girls this side of the Mississippi. Hodges, man, how did you pull that off?"

"Har. Har. Sanders."

David's tone would have almost been convincing if he hadn't been sitting in a hospital bed seemingly unable to take his eyes off his newborn daughter. It was too cute a scene for Greg to be even the least bit offended by the man's words.

"Oh by the way, Dave," Greg said whipping his digital camera out of nowhere. "Say Cheese!"

The flash was enough to startle the other man out of his reverie and glare at the grinning blond.

"I haven't forgotten, Gregory. As soon as this kid can walk, it's your doom." David grinned sweetly, before immediately returning his attention to the little girl in his arms.

Nicky just stood off to the side of his newly formed family, his proud papa smile firmly in place. "C'mon Greggo, this is a blessed occasion. Enough with the wise cracks, besides, you can help us out here."

Greg raised a suspicious brow. "How so… I mean she's here already. I'm not cutting any umbilical cords."

"No, no, man. All that's taken care of." Nick laughed.

Greg's eyes widened suddenly as his smile became manic. "Owww…" The grin was then immediately replaced with a frown. He rubbed at his chin and struck a mobster-esque pose rattling off an impressive Don Corleone impression. "Do I get to be the godfather?"

"Oh dear god. We're not really letting him be the godfather are we?"

"Hey, you wanted Jacqui and I was going for Warrick… Greg's the middle man remember?"

Greg gasped in mock outrage. "I was a compromise!" But his cheeky grin was back moments later. "Hey I'll take what I can get," he said, scooting closer to the bed where Hodges and the baby were resting. "Let me see, let me see."

"God, first Jacqui now you. I'm sure the kid's tired of all these strange people gawking at her like she's some attraction at a zoo."

Greg pouted childishly. "Aww c'mon Hodges. Be a proud mama. Let me see the fruit of your and Nicky's loins."

David was unable to keep the horrified expression off his face as he pulled his child away from the other man's wiggling fingers. "Don't you dare speak like that in front of my child."

"Hey now you two, you're gonna scare her." Nick tried to be firm but his smile was giving him away.

"Awww… she's fine, Nicky. Isn't that right?" Greg said reaching out to touch the girl's soft brown hair. "You got Stokes and Hodges blood in you. This kid's unshakable." His grin turned into a more thoughtful expression. "Actually… What did you guys decide to name her?"

David rolled his eyes at that.

Nick just frowned. "Well, y'see, that's the thing. We can't seem to come up with anything."

"That doesn't make my ears bleed or mark the poor kid for life." David added helpfully.

"Well, David, it's not like you've even suggested anything."

"Maybe you guys should just wait and see. Y'know, see what fits. She's only a few hours old. Get to know her and see what name seems to suit her best," Greg said as he was finally able to sneak the little girl from David's grip.

"Great. So for now she's just the Stokes-Hodges kid." David griped.

"Stokes-Hodges? I was thinking more of Hodges-Stokes, Dave."

David looked horror-struck. "What? What are you talking about? That doesn't even flow properly. Besides I'm the one that carried her around _inside of me_ for the last nine and a half months. I think I should get to decide what order her name's in."

"David, the mother's name is never the last name. It's traditional," Nick argued.

"Nicholas Stokes, not only is that a gross untruth, look around, is there anything traditional about any of this? I, for one, am a man and you just referred to me as the _mother_ of your child."

"Well, David, you are."

"And that is neither traditional nor normal, " David replied.

Greg snickered.

"Okay. Okay fine. Stokes-Hodges it is." Nick pouted.

"Oh god, don't do that!"

"What?"

"That!"

During the course of this highly entertaining discussion Greg was able to wander off with little Miss Stokes-Hodges. But not before David gave him a momentary glare though seemingly allowed it.

"Don't worry, kid, you got a pair of good guys to be your parents." Greg said to the little pink bundle in his arms. "And look at that, you got your mom's eyes kid." He leaned in to whisper conspiratorially grinning all the while, "Lucky you."

_**End.**_


End file.
